How to become a secure person / more than two

"getting rid of fear and insecurity makes life better. Ultimately, dealing with fears and insecurities is something that must be done; a person can deal with them by hiding from them, deal with them by rearranging his life around them, or deal with them by destroying them completely, but not dealing with them generally isn’t an option. And frankly, with the amount of time and effort people invest in hiding from their fears or building their lives around their fears, just eradicating them to begin with is actually less effort in the long run. This page is about practical, ordinary ways to deal with fear and insecurity, and become self-confident and self-assured."

 https://www.morethantwo.com/becomingsecure.html

The Game Changer: A memoir of disruptive love

To make an open marriage work, Franklin and Celeste knew they needed to make sure no one else ever came between them. That meant there had to be rules. No overnights, no falling in love, and either one of them could ask the other to end an outside relationship if it became too much to deal with. It worked for nearly two decades—and their relentless focus on their own relationship let them turn a blind eye to the emotional wreckage they were leaving behind them. The rules did not prepare them for Amber. “I have a question,” Amber would say. And whatever came next would send a wrecking ball through Franklin and Celeste's comforting illusions. Amber was the first of Franklin’s polyamorous secondary partners to insist on being treated like a person, and the first to peel back the layers of insecurity and fear that surrounded their relationship. Amber was a game changer. A game-changing relationship is one that uproots and redirects your life. It overthrows your assumptions about who you are and why. It awakens you to possibilities you’d never conceived of. It disrupts. And it is the unspoken elephant in the attractive showroom of polyamorous relationships. This book is the true story of a game-changing relationship that changed not only Franklin and Celeste’s lives, but the face of the modern polyamory movement. A game-changing relationship can happen to anyone. How will you handle it when it happens to you?

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0991399757/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0991399757&linkCode=as2&tag=mothtw-20&linkId=OH7QMD4B4PYSMOSA

lust in translation

http://www.npr.org/books/titles/138290423/lust-in-translation-the-rules-of-infidelity-from-tokyo-to-tennessee

The Ethical Slut / wiki

The authors define the term slut as "a person of any gender who has the courage to lead life according to the radical proposition that sex is nice and pleasure is good for you". 

The term is reclaimed from its usual use as a pejorative and as a simple label for a promiscuous person. Instead, it is used to signify a person who is accepting of their enjoyment of sex and the pleasure of physical intimacy with others, and chooses to engage and accept these in an ethical and open way—rather than as cheating.

The Ethical Slut discusses how to live an active life with multiple concurrent sexual relationships in a fair and honest way. Discussion topics include how to deal with the practical difficulties and opportunities in finding and keeping partners, maintaining relationships with others, and strategies for personal growth.

It contains chapters discussing how consensual non-monogamy is handled in different subcultures such as the gay and lesbian communities, information on handling scheduling, jealousy, communication, conflict in relationships, and group sex.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut

http://www.dossieeaston.com/books.html