verbal abuse

The scars from verbal assaults can last for years. These psychological scars leave people unsure of themselves, unable to recognize their true value, their talents and sometimes unable to adapt to life’s many challenges.

Unfortunately, when people don’t recognize verbal abuse for what it is, they may try to get the person who is putting them down, giving them orders, or “correcting,” denouncing, yelling at or ignoring them to understand them.

Since, in the majority of cases, people who indulge in verbal abuse are selective about whom they abuse, many people are surprised to hear that someone is experiencing on-going and periodic abuse from someone they know and have always seen as nice and friendly. “Nice and Friendly” is the persona of many an abuser. Although many folks are as nice and friendly as they seem, some are not. 


Is name-calling verbal abuse?

Yes! Name-calling is abusive because it says that you are BLANK, but actually you are a person. Batterers define their mates as objects. It isn't healthy to be in the same room with a person who defines you, and it is harmful to children who witness it. They either see their survival threatened or they think it's normal, or both.


Why does it seem that after he abuses me verbally he is happy, like he feels relieved? Also, he will act like it never happened. It's like he has no memory of it.
This is what verbal abusers do. Verbal abusers almost universally act like nothing happened, like they feel fine and the relationship is fine. This is because they feel they have more control. Maybe they got you to back down, believe them or doubt yourself. If you doubt yourself then you might go with what they tell you, be more compliant and more slave-like. This makes them happy.

you and your mate are not mechanical -- therefore what you do doesn't make him be abusive. If your relationship were mechanical, then when you push up like on a seesaw, he would be affected: he'd go down. But that's not how it is.

Most abusers present a "perfect" image to their therapist, admitting to a mistake or two, which they swear wouldn't happen if only their wives would "whatever."  

abuse increases in intensity and frequency over time. And many women end up with stress-related illnesses. Abusers get worse over time and always blame the victim.


http://www.verbalabuse.com